Thursday, 16 February 2012

A Good Fight...

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith…

2 Timothy 4:7

Most of you know of my son-in-law, Mike, and his fight agaisnt cancer.

While I don't want to do my usual wordy blog---somehow those words just don't come so easily right now---I do want to let everyone know that Mike passed from this life on February 12.

His transition from this illness into a life free of cancer was peaceful and without pain, a well-deserved rest after such a brave and hard-fought battle.

Although I know with certainty that he would not have wanted those left behind to grieve, it's hard to see your child's name in the same sentence as 'in memory of' in an obituary.
Suddenly the pain you've been able to keep nestled inside floods to the surface and you're forced to acknolwedge they are gone, they aren't going to return, and you do mourn.

But I refuse to mourn for long. Not only because I know he is in a much better place now, but because I choose to dwell on the beauty of having had a son. Even if it was for only the five short years. It doesn't take a lifetime to know someone, to love them.

I can smile in the knowledge that my daughter experienced love, real love. She was one of those fortunate ones who found a soul mate. The marriage wasn't free of trials---no marriage ever is---but it was still perfect in that Mike and Lyndie weathered every storm and always found a clearing.

I won't even say rest in peace, Mike, because---now that I know he's pain-free and healthy once more, I'm rooting for him to have found a lovely fishing hole and is casting for lots of fish and enjoying the sun.

Finally, I found this quote from Victor Hugo on my daughter's Facebook where she shared it after having found it on a plaque in a garden at M.D. Anderson hospital.

Be like the bird who, halfway in his flight on limb too slight, feels it give way beneath him; yet sings, knowing he hath wings.

I love you, Mike. My son.


33 Comments:

Rick R Reed said...

Beautiful tribute, Carol, to what seems like a beautiful man. My thoughts are with you...

Jaime Samms said...

Your words are as lovely and touching as always, Carol. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Hugs.

Victor J Banis said...

beautiful, indeed, Carol, and like you I think he is in a better place

Susan Laine said...

Lovely words, Carol. I'm so sorry for you. My Grandpa died of throat cancer too. I wish you all the strength in the world to help you through this. Mike must've been a great man, and I'm happy you got to be a part of his life, and he yours.

Lloyd Meeker said...

Tender hugs, Carol -

A strong and beautiful step of closure. Sending loving support to you and your family.

LD Madison said...

What a wonderful man, to inspire such love. I really appreciate that you've shared him with us as we got to know how special he was and always will be.

Cassie Exline said...

Loving words, beautiful tribute. As hard as it is to let go, he's not suffering, no one should ever have to suffer. You're an awesome, caring person. My heart and prayers to you and yours.

Harlie Reader said...

Oh Carol. Please take my hug and give another one to your daughter. I'm still praying for you and your family. This saddness my heart so...

Marika

Lex Valentine said...

As always, you've found exactly the right words to paint a picture for the rest of us. I came to know Mike through your words these past few years and I know how much you loved him. Letting go is often the hardest part of loving someone, but you're doing so with all the grace I know you possess. I'm so sorry for the loss you and Lyndie are experiencing but so happy for Mike's freedom. Love you, darlin.

Tia Fielding said...

I rarely say anything to posts about personal lives of my fellow authors, especially when I have nothing constructive to say.

I've followed Mike's story through your posts and status updates, so I wanted to let you know that I've been one of the quiet ones following your journey.

Finding your soul mate, even if for a handful of years, is priceless. Your daughter was lucky. You were all lucky to have him as long as you did.

He'll catch some nice fish, I'm sure. :)

Debbie Gould said...

A beautiful tribute, Carol. My heart goes out to you and Lyndie. Hugs from a friend who knows what cancer can do to a loved on and the peace that can be found in knowing they are free of that pain.

AlanChinWriter said...

A lovely tribute, Carol. Mike is not the only one fighting the brave fight. We all do in our own way, even you. Keep your chin up, your body in balance, and swing away. Make him proud.

alan

Kimberly Gardner said...

Hugs to you and Lyndi, Carol. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful man with us.

Mykola ( Mick) Dementiuk said...

He definitely was a winner, that's for sure...

Love, Mick ;)))

Sloan Parker said...

What beautiful words, Carol. Sounds like he was very fortunate to have you as a mother too. You and your family have my deepest condolences.

by Sarah Lee said...

This is beautiful, Carol. Hugs!

Kenzie Michaels said...

((((((HUGZ)))))))

What a beautiful tribute! I'm so sorry for your loss, but you're right; he's pain-free and smiling down on all of you.

Dorien/Roger said...

Beautiful. Your love and pain shine through your words.

Tom Webb said...

Beautiful. Love you.

Tom

Shira Anthony said...

What a beautiful way to celebrate his life through words, and to share it with us. Children are truly a joy and a blessing.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

K. Z. Snow said...

An achingly wise and lovely post, Carol. May Mike find eternal joy and peace.

DavidS said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you Carol and Mike was a beautiful young man and I can see he made you proud of him. Hugs to you and yours Carol.

LJ Garland said...

Prayers, heartfelt hugs, and much love, my friend.

Jennifer Armintrout said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. You will be in my prayers.

Norma Nielsen said...

My heart is with you & your family. I have grieved with you through this last journey of Mike's. yo know how to find me if you ever need an ear to talk.

Pender Mackie said...

Deepest sympathy, Carol. My condolences to you and your family.

Joylene said...

What were the chances of us ever meeting online? Almost impossible, right? Fate intervened. So, since we now call each other friend, chances are Mike is running into a lot of my family, and soon they'll be friends too. My boys and my dad, even my MIL will be at the best fishing spot together, laughing, having a great time. The rest of my family will be off eating.

Tonight before I go to sleep, I'll ask them to please look Mike up and say hello from Joylene and the rest of the clad. He'll already know that you and I are friends. The world really is a small place.

C. Zampa said...

I'm overwhelmed by the support and the comforting thoughts from each and every one of you.

Every single word you've offered has been so warming and has touched my heart.

We all do agree on one thing, and that is that Mike is comfortable now and he is in a much, much better place without any more illness. And yet he is still here, in my heart. And always will be.

Again, I sincerely and humblly thank each of you for your precious thoughts.

Regina Carlysle said...

Your heartfelt tribute touches us all, Carol. And those of us who followed Mike's journey wish him well on the next one. God Bless you all, honey.

Victoria Adams said...

Your tribute brought tears to my eyes.

Sarah Ballance said...

I am so truly happy for your peace in this. I've thought about you a lot this week and have prayed so hard for you and Lyndie and everyone who loved Mike. We are all touched by so many in this path of life, and through you Mike has touched me. It is but the smallest of ways he lives on, but in the hearts of many it's an impact that reaches far. (((Hugs))).

Lori Toland said...

*huge hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss.

MamaKitty said...

I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss Mike, but I know he's in a better place and he's not suffering anymore. I look at all the pictures of him with Lyndie and remember all the times I saw them together and I KNOW they were truly happy together. Beautiful, moving words for a wonderful man.