I Now Pronounce You Man and....

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. ~Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy, A.D. 524

Over the years, I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut on so many subjects. Not because I have no opinions on them, or that I have no feelings about them, but because I’m a poor ‘speaker’. Sometimes I dare to voice my thoughts on an issue, only to embarrass myself with my bumbling sentiment that seems to form itself in my head in one shape, only to spill from my lips in quite another, more twisted form.


Recently on an authors’ loop, the subject of same-sex marriage surfaced. I listened and listened, and felt the need to comment, to rise up in support of what I think is a social injustice. I DID speak up, but I wasn’t sure the sentiment that issued from my brain made any sense to anyone else.


That frustrated me. This emotion roiling in my head, no way to voice it adequately, not even in the written word.


But someone else—quite unwittingly—painted EXACTLY the picture I wanted to convey, simply by his random comments about his personal life—the LOVE of his personal life, to be precise.


I won’t divulge his name. But I WILL tell you that he talks often of his long-time lover, his husband, and that every time he mentions him, my heart hurts—literally hurts, but in a beautiful way—to hear the passion in his ‘voice’ for this man.


The funny part? He says very little, actually. It’s not his words that strike such a chord in my heart, it’s the depth of love in his tone. It rings so loud and crystal-clear, so deep, so true, so lovely.


I’d be one to say that marriage would not be my cup of tea; but, when I hear this man talk of his husband, I very much think how marriage WOULD be a blessed union if I were lucky enough to find a man who loved me as much as this man loves his husband.


It’s achingly beautiful, it’s poignant, it’s poetry, it’s Shakespeare, E.E. Cummings and The Song of David all mixed into one luscious melody of passion and care.


I’m not fooled for a minute into thinking this man and his husband don’t experience the same angst and marital trials that all couple face. I’m sure he does. But, even within the limited bounds of my knowledge of him, I know—beyond a shadow of a doubt—that he and his love see it through, they tough it out together. I just know they do.


If marriage could be like that? Oh, yes, oh, yes, sign me up for holy matrimony! IF, I say IF it can be like that.


The sad thing? According to this fellow author, his marriage is not legal in his state. So, in the eyes of the law, he is not really married.


Go figure.


A man and his lover who share more genuine passion, more true companionship, than most straight couples I know, and THEY aren’t considered ‘marriageable’ in their state. That’s a tragedy. A true tragedy.


When he writes tidbits about his lover, I soak up his words and roll in them like a cat in warm grass. They’re that full of love and devotion.


So, although I can’t verbalize my feelings very well, not in a strong political voice, I can at least use this man as an example to express MY confusion and frustration about a law that would prohibit him from marrying his lover.


My wish to you, this man with the beautiful heart who deserves the same privilege in the law’s eyes as any other couple—hell, maybe even more so—I wish I had the power to change the public eye for you. And for others in your situation. I can’t single-handedly, but I can at least use my lame voice.


Wishing you an eternity of happiness to you and your partner. Your husband.